Ghetto Anthem

I’ve never been inside a jail before. There is a smell: it's heavy and bitter, and makes your skin crawl. It’s loud. The walls echo with coarse voices and cruel language. A few of the inmates leer at the girls as we make our way to the empty table where André is waiting. I want to cover them with my coat, the baby’s blanket, anything to shield them from their eyes. And I want to run out of this room full of scary people and never look back. When we reach the table, André pulls Amber into a passionate embrace, and blushing, I look away.

Love Shook My Heart 2 Cover Tamara smacks André in the back of the head. “Try and remember that I’m your mother, and I don’t need to see that shit.”

Chastised, André sits down, pulling Amber onto his lap. “Sorry, Ma,” he says.

I nod to André. He nods back. We have an understanding.

“How’s the baby?” he asks.

I smile softly, continuing to pat her back. “She’s fine, a little fussy.”

“I’ve missed her,” he says, “But I know you and Ma are taking good care of her.”

I hand him the baby and as he takes her into her arms, my hands are still on her. I'm afraid she’ll fall. It’s as if her tiny hands are holding onto the veins leading into my heart, and I can’t let go, because if I do, my heart will be torn from my chest.

“I’ve got her,” he says. “I know how to hold a baby.”

Nodding, I sit next to Tamara, and we exchange a look. My chest feels tight. I keep blinking, reminding myself to breathe. I can’t hear a word anyone is saying.